


No Growth Without Pain

by MeguBun (thehypestpuff)



Series: Demon/Church AU [4]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Also this isn't technically a shippy piece buuuuut come on it pretty much is, Angst, F/F, I know you guys like that :3, look more yoshiko suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 02:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehypestpuff/pseuds/MeguBun
Summary: A growth in a demon differs so much more than a human. Why does it have to hurt so badly though? And why does it have to hurt others as well?





	No Growth Without Pain

 

Excruciating.

  
That was the only thing she could describe this pain. Why did it have to hurt so badly? In a regular human body growing was not supposed to be as painful as this, but of course she did not have a body like an average human. No, it was her other side that was growing and Yoshiko hated it. She was going through a sort of "demon puberty" as she decided to call it. Her horns and other protruding parts of her demon body began to grow over the past few days and it was the most excruciating pain she had to endure. Like knives were pushing outwards from within to the outside of her head. Attesting to the pain was bleeding and she hated that too. The only thing that made suffering through all this worth it was that Hanamaru was with her to comfort her when she was around. Without Hanamaru she didn't think she could handle this pain on her own. With her by her side it stopped her from going nuts from it all. The smaller girl even went about cleaning out the bleeding that came with the growth of her horns and Yoshiko found herself feeling guilty about it because she didn't want her friend to get dirty because of her. Still, she was adamant in helping her and it was a wonderful solace to have.

  
"Ahh damn it, it's starting up again..." The demon complained as her hands rushed to hold her head. Why now of all times when she was trying to sleep? She swore that the demon side inside her had it in for her and was doing this on purpose. "So much for sleep." Sighing to herself she'd throw off the covers and turn to sit on the edge of the bed. It started out with minuscule stinging-like pain from the base of her horns but the stinging would suddenly spike into a burning feeling that made her ball up her fists and clench her teeth. "S-Shit...this is bad...I don't want to wake Hanamaru up though...gotta keep my mouth shut." Yoshiko berated herself.

  
In order to somewhat subdue herself she'd reach for her pillow and hold it against her body. This wasn't the first time she had to force herself to stay awake to allow this torture to pass. Not only did she screw up her already messed up sleep pattern but she had to basically endure her body's punishment for up to an hour each time it acted up. "Was it really a good idea to spend the night here? Kanan said I should spend more time with her and I agreed but...this just isn't fair to her to have to deal with this. She's so kind and considerate of me and I can't give her anything back. Maybe I should just head back to Kanan's house..." The girl muttered to herself while she turned her gaze to the moon peering in from the charcoal sky. The turmoil of her thoughts was almost as much as a crutch as the growing pains. On one hand she wanted to be by Hanamaru's side as she already left her once and in the worst possible way. On the other she didn't want her to bear the burden of hiding Yoshiko away and taking care of her with risks of doing so.

  
The agonizing discomfort of her own's growth began to set in now and her claws began gripping tightly into her pillow. Accompanying these terrible sensations was ringing in her head that was another horrible symptom of this supposed puberty. Instinctively she began growling but ceased real quickly on the reminder that she had to be silent. The burning transitioned into a piercing feeling, the knife-like stabbing that she had grown to hate so much. Her grip on the pillow had become so strong that she began tearing into it and she was constantly drawing in hisses and sharp breaths to suppress the urge to scream. Eyes shut tight while the misery she was being swallowed up in continued without remorse. This was bad, much worse than anything she had to go through before that related to her demonic growth. She could only assume all the other times where she felt this that her horns were only growing slowly like a process akin to a nail but right now she could feel them physically emerge from her head and from both sides. Abandoning the pillow, her hands shot right up to each side of her head where she locked them in an iron grip, just wanting it to stop. Her once quiet sounds of discomfort turned into groans of anguish.

  
They felt as if they were going to keep growing and Yoshiko just wanted to rip them from her head. She couldn't take this any longer and let out a scream of agony as she fell into a fetal position on her bed. The sound of her suffering had done exactly what she was looking to avoid and wrestled a drowsy Hanamaru from her sleep. "Yoshiko..." She mumbled while lazily making her way out of her own room which was next door to her friend's. Her door was closed and the brunette began to knock. "Yoshiko are you ok, zura...?" In response she didn't get any words but instead another intense scream that quickly jump-started her out of her tired stupor and ushered her to burst into the room. "Yoshiko, what's wrong?!" Upon setting eyes on her, she knew immediately what was happening but it seemed so much worse than before. Rushing to her side, Hanamaru set her hands on her and began to talk as sternly yet as gently as she could to calm her down. "H-Hey, breathe now, I'm right here with you, just listen to my voice..." Yoshiko felt her friend with her and she could hear her voice but it wasn't doing much for her as she continued to writhe. Stomaching this was damn near impossible but what was worse than that was trying to maintain herself. Everything was starting to meld into one collective mass of negativity; her pain, anguish, sadness, anger, all of it was slowly starting to cloud her head.

  
Hanamaru felt helpless but she refused to let this destroy her dearest Yoshiko and practically forced her into her arms in a tight embrace repeating to her over and over that it was going to be okay. "Fight it, I know you can!" The demon girl's tail began angrily slapping into the bed and causing raucous motion. The collective hell inside her was breaching her and she just wanted to tear herself apart to get this to stop. Feral aura began to bubble inside her and among her screams and shrieks came growls and huffs. In a fit of rage she broke off Hanamaru's grip around her and began clawing around her like a beastly demon and in the process inflicted a pair of lacerations on the small girl's face.

  
By nature Hanamaru yelped in pain and fell back onto the floor from the bed, gripping her cheek. Her breaths grew rapid and she began backing away against the opposite wall out of fear as she watched her friend lose herself. She was trembling and she wanted to throw herself on Yoshiko again but she knew that she would surely get even more hurt if she tried. That's what she wanted at least but she was petrified. The animalistic rage however thankfully began settled as the pain all of a sudden just began to subside And Yoshiko found herself slumping down once more with heavy breaths and beads of sweat and blood dripping from her head. The half demon found herself short of breath and struggling to breathe but she was able to somewhat compose herself. The realization of what she had done to Hanamaru hadn't dawned on her yet and it was in fact Hanamaru who tore her attention away from herself with her small voice suddenly speaking up.

"Are you okay now?" The frightened girl asked, her voice trembling. Yoshiko's head slowly veered over and her eyes widened in shock. The sight was enough to break her; her beloved friend taken with fright, her hand cradling her bloody cheek, the unease in her voice, and the look of fear in her eyes. Did she do this to her?

  
"H-Hanamaru! N-No, what happened are you okay?! Oh no, no, no what the hell did I do?!" Tears began forming in her eyes and she began to sniffle while slowly bringing herself closer to Hanamaru and slumping hard in front of her, her arms shakily reaching outwards to comfort her only for to pull away as soon as she set eyes on her claws. "W-What have I done..." Her tears began flowing and she bit down on her lip. She tried to look at her friend but she couldn't bring herself to look at her directly.

Noticing Yoshiko's demeanor Hanamaru mimicked her earlier actions by reaching out but instead she'd hold the taller girl's cheeks in her palms. "I-It's ok, I know you didn't mean to do it! Trust me, I knew it wasn't you...please don't blame yourself, you were in so much pain..."

  
Despite her reassurance Yoshiko continued to sob and sniffle hard, unable to forgive herself. How could she lose control like this? The pain shouldn't have gotten to her so intensely and she hated herself for it. She hated that she had to be cursed with being part demon and she especially hated that it was that side of her that made her hurt Hanamaru. She hurt Hanamaru and that was so damn devastating. "Y-You're bleeding...it looks like it hurts so much, I-I'm so, so sorry...I..."

  
In a moment of tenderness to quell Yoshiko, Hanamaru eased her forehead against the half demon's and began to shush her calmly much akin to a mother to her child. "It only hurts a little but it hurts no where near seeing you like this. Maybe I should have been more careful but I still don't blame you. I can't. I can't imagine how much this hurts you." Taking her scale clad arms, she intertwined the clawed fingers with hers and held them snugly. "Since the day you appeared to me like this I have never been afraid of you and I know for a fact that you would never, ever hurt me purposefully. The suffering you have to live through makes me want to be there for you to make it easier, if I can."

Looking up finally, Yoshiko spoke up suddenly and swiftly. "You do make it easy! You make it feel like I'm not just some kind of animal but what just happened...I can't just forgive myself for that." Her tears drying slightly, her grip around Hanamaru's hands still trembled but compared to earlier she was much more at ease. How was she so lucky to have Hanamaru be so forgiving and comforting? Maybe God didn't completely hate her if Hanamaru was allowed to be a part of her life. Life could take everything from her if it wanted but not Hanamaru. She would rather die.

  
"I would want you to but you don't have to. Just know that I forgive you and that you don't have to be afraid to be around me because of this. This is nothing band-aids can't fix, zura." Hanamaru jested lightly with a smile.

  
Seeing her smile made Yoshiko's heart flutter a little and it made her breathing stabled again as she nodded. "Y-Yeah ok...you're pretty tough you know." She meant that both physically and emotionally.

"Heheh, well I try! Gotta be tough if I'm friends with someone like you. Though you could be a bit dorky so you aren't that tough."

  
"W-Wha- hey I'm tough!"

  
"I know you are, zura. Much tougher than you know~"


End file.
